He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
