you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
