i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
