I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
