yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
