people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
