This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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