haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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