i barfeds in our rink
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
