Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize