I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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