I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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