How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
