my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
