I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize