as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
