accomplished twins. life is a go
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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