Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
