I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We need to rekindle our bromance
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
