Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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