Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
