it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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