you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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