So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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