Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
