Come see our sink grown plant.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
