Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
