the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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