i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
