I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
