Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
