It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
