Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize