I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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