I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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