***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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