Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You've changed since you got that strap on
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
