So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The struggles of a small town man whore
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
