I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
