Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
