Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
should my penis look like a turkey
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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