LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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