Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
