I CAN MOONWALK!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
