So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
