Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize