Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
