Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
