You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
