I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
