Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
