No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
