Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
