Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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