Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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