omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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