I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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