I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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