Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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