I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize