Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
